an open letter to the snotty barista at daily buzz on east walnut street. i know there were 20 people behind me in line but i was on a cellphone call with my mother. MOTHER??? MOTHHHHHEERR???? mother, i want to. i want to make you wear the crucifix of a dog. a stray dog. with a ghost of the dead [???]. i want the SNAKES to suck my skin while the big texas radio plays.. can you hear it?? CAN YOU HEAR IT MOTHER?? when i close my eyes, i can see myself, riding through the desert WITHIN A CONVERTABLE built with eggshells. LOOK OVER THERE BY THE CHEVRON STATION!!! theres an old american indian... standing by the side of the road. HES HOLDING AN ALLIGATOR!!! the alligators name is... quacky mcnucklehead.... COME HERE QUACKY. CMERE BOY!!! come here little fella. i think he wants to be my friend. THERES FREEDOM IN THE AIR AAWYEAAHHH!! I CAN SMELL IT. I CAN TASTE IT. tastes like... stale... fritos... STOP THE CAR IM GETTING OUT!!!! MOMAALAKACHAKADINGDONGfishy fishy thing.... MOTHER. MOTHER ARE YOU LISTENING?? i gotta tell you a secret... mother quiet, mother i gotta tell you a secret... shhhhhh mother... im the one who pulled the tags of the mattresses. IVE BEEN A BAD LITTLE BOY MOTHER. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT??? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT!?!?!!?!!?!? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT!!!!! WHATAREYOUGONNA DO ABOUTITWEHATAREYOUGONNADOABOUTIT??????? mother... this baristas staring at me... shes being very rude mother. hold on a minute., AHEMHEM excuse me young missy. didnt you see me hold up my index finger?? that means "ill order my soy decaf hazelnut latte IN JUST A COUPLE MINUTES." so.. whats with the additude lady? NO TIP FOR YOU!!!

Welcome to Alapalooza!

This is a site is comprised entirely of all things "Weird Al" Yankovic.
This lovely project started out as an idea for a Weird Al shrine but I just
had too many ideas that it was just better to create a dedicated page.
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